


with you at the center of my focus

by streetlights



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Control Issues, Devotion, Kageyama-centric, M/M, POV Second Person, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1943160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/streetlights/pseuds/streetlights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the way he needs you (steals your breath and basks in your attention, filling your world with more than just volleyball) that gets you restless. Hinata Shouyo practically <em>commands</em> your attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	with you at the center of my focus

**Author's Note:**

> Hinata's version can now be read [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1935558).

He trails after you. In practices, in matches, and during lunchtime as you routinely pass the vending machine for your boxed juice. He'll jump at you from behind – it doesn't surprise you anymore but he doesn't care; it's no longer about _surprising_ you anyway – and invades your headspace, your thoughts, until there's nothing but orange and bright smiles. It irritates you, yet your first thought is always _Good. Keep doing that. All you have to do is follow me._

Sometimes, when you're in a particularly good mood, you'll buy him milk from the vending machine. He'll thank you for it – he's always grateful of everything you give him. Tosses, food, time. Trust. He shines brighter because of you.

He doesn't understand it – not completely – but that's fine. That's good. You bend backwards so he can spike your toss; all he has to do is shout your name. Tell you he's there. It's okay to toss; he's there. You're not sacrificing anything, not really. He's the one calling you, after all.

_Everything's fine as long as you follow me._

And he _glows_. Shines like the fucking sun until the whole room is filled with his smile, his presence. Your vision blurs because there's nothing else as important as the curve of his back, the sweat rolling down his skin, his bated breath and the slow exhale he releases as the ball falls on the opposite side of the net. There's a penetrating look in his eyes; he does that often in matches and it overwhelms you sometimes. Reaches your head, your heart, and crawls slowly down below your stomach.

It's the way he needs you (steals your breath and basks in your attention, filling your world with more than just volleyball) that gets you restless. Hinata Shouyo practically _commands_ your attention.

And that's fine. That's good. _All you have to do is follow me._

When he's alone, he whispers your name sometimes. Practices the way it sounds off his lips. “Tobio. Tobio,” he'll mumble (as if you couldn't hear him). It's a kind of worship, but not quite. You're his enabler. His _partner_. If you try hard enough, you can conquer him. Control him.

 _He is my weapon_ , you say to yourself. It's not a lie, not quite. You know him well enough to wield him; etched his name in with slow, fading strokes even though you don't have any intention to hide him. (But you do.)

(You like keeping him to yourself, sometimes.)

But he's brilliant and loud and everyone sees him. You tell yourself it doesn't matter because he has _your_ attention, and that should be enough, shouldn't it?

(It is, and he makes sure you know it. But even so–)

You push yourself and move forward. Run faster, serve harder, toss better because you're not good enough. You're not _perfect_ and you have to be. He has to shine bright, after all.

Your breathing is always labored these days, but your mind is always on full alert. You _see_ Hinata, see a second into the future visualizing the highest point of his jump, the position of his hand, the speed with which he is approaching the net. It's irritating and infuriating and exhausting, but it doesn't matter. He's calling you and he has _your_ attention.

Sometimes you find yourself thinking, _I'm still better._ But when he jumps, he flies for a moment. The world slows down around him, and he _soars._ Hinata runs and jumps as if he has mastered the art, and you have watched him enough times to have memorized his form.

(He knows this; sends you sidelong glances and watches you watch him, shamelessly and without effort.)

You follow him and make him better, stronger. Make him need you, because he's not anything without you. _I'm still in control_ , you tell yourself. And he looks at you, _demands_ your focus and your skills and your whole being in just a single glance.

(And you give him _everything_.)

You have no idea how much control he is taking away from you. And it haunts you.

 


End file.
